How the coroner works

1. It watches. Every 15 s it reads the coins trading on pump.fun right now. Any coin that peaked at $20K or more in the last day goes on the ward.
2. It pronounces. When a coin falls 80% from its peak, it's dead. The time of death is the first trade at or under that line.
3. It examines. The coroner reads the trade list and names a probable cause: the creator sold, one wallet dumped, the snipers left, a sudden collapse, or a slow bleed.
4. It admits. Every $CORONER buyer is admitted as a patient, and the coroner reads their record: how many of today's funerals that wallet was at.
5. It reports. On the hour, every hour: the morgue report. Deaths, the fastest, the biggest, the leading cause.

If $CORONER itself falls 80% from a peak of $20K or more, it gets a certificate like every other coin. The coroner doesn't play favourites.